Love and Respect

I am now reading a book called "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. It is about marriage and the relationship between a man and a woman. If you are married and have not read the book, I would highly suggest it. If you are not married, but are in a dating relationship, I would still recommend it. If you are not in a relationship, but are confused about communicating with the opposite sex, you can learn a lot through this book. I have only read a few chapters so far, but the concept of the book has been made clear to me. I would like to share part of the introduction with you. Maybe it will spark some interest or teach you something new.

I wrote this book out of desperation that was turned into inspiration. As a pastor, I counseled married couples and could not solve their problems. The mjor problem I heard from wives was, "He doesn't love me." Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Many husbands fail to deliver. But as I kept studying Scripture and counseling couples, I finally saw the other half of the equation. Husbands weren't saying it much, but they were thinking, She doesn't respect me. Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. Many wives fail to deliver. The result is that five out of ten marriages land in divorce court (and that includes evangelical Christians).

As I wrestled with the problem, I finally saw a connection: without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love. Around and around it goes. I call it the Crazy Cycle- marital craziness that has thousands of couples in its grip.

How does that concept sound? Ephesians 5:33 says "Each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." This is why Dr. Eggerichs has written the book. Everyone knows about love and that we are commanded to do so (that doesn't mean it's easy). However, not many books, counselors, or couples deal with the topic of respect. In my mind the whole idea makes complete sense. If I show my love to Brittany, she will act in a way that shows her respect for me. That respect makes me show my love more which in turn sparks more respect from her. This is the cycle that I hope to maintain in my marriage. I pray that you will do the same.